careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The Olympian is in my bed
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
