i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
