You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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