i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
