i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
