I must be too annoying 4 u.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
