I smell stomach acid.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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