Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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