My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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