omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
