I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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