Whod you bang
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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