I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
