Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
