he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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