It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
