I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
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