matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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