I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
