I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
