Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
