4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Randomize
