Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just found puke in my bra..
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
