i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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