I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
