yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
