4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Kiss
Puke
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
