Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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