actually, I'm a sock model
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
