"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
