alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
All the doctor said was why
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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