in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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