You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
