I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
