so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
