It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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