I am full of burrito and curiosity
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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