I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
