I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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