I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize