im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
