I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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