i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
