I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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