Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
