he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
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nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
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If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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