She's JV to your varsity
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
