wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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