he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize