so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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