Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I faked an abortion last night.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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