just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.