remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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