Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.

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(724): I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state. http://tfl.nu/piph

Replies (17) Good night (531) Bad night (3150)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.

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(504): Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows. http://tfl.nu/ltb0

Replies (17) Good night (3183) Bad night (695)
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(845): View more from New York

They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.

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(845): They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory. http://tfl.nu/jr9q

Replies (7) Good night (1170) Bad night (3642)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.

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(814): I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone. http://tfl.nu/qodf

Replies (2) Good night (2213) Bad night (888)
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(708): View more from Illinois

I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.

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(708): I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT. http://tfl.nu/yg6n

Replies (32) Good night (4963) Bad night (2226)
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(561): View more from Florida

And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."

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(561): And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips." http://tfl.nu/kfac

Replies (6) Good night (2477) Bad night (1211)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

you dont

(732): View more from New Jersey

i dont

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(732): shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples (1-732): you dont (732): i dont http://tfl.nu/v78w

Replies (7) Good night (4722) Bad night (1165)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.

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(616): Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine. http://tfl.nu/pixd

Replies (6) Good night (1169) Bad night (2269)
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(510): View more from California

He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?

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(510): He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing? http://tfl.nu/wg1w

Replies (1) Good night (1689) Bad night (756)
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(714): View more from California

I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.

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(714): I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year. http://tfl.nu/qsqv

Replies (9) Good night (2147) Bad night (1536)
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(512): View more from Texas

you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday

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(512): you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday http://tfl.nu/6yij

Replies (2) Good night (2348) Bad night (633)
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(301): View more from Maryland

OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.

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(301): OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch. http://tfl.nu/e5zg

Replies (9) Good night (817) Bad night (2729)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP

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(304): ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP http://tfl.nu/bbs8

Replies (6) Good night (2085) Bad night (525)
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(207): View more from Maine

Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.

(1-207): View more from Maine

They want yo temporarily sterile ass.

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(207): Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong. (1-207): They want yo temporarily sterile ass. http://tfl.nu/285n

Replies (9) Good night (1476) Bad night (464)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.

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(423): In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like. http://tfl.nu/eb14

Replies (9) Good night (730) Bad night (352)

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