Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
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Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
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They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.