but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?