You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
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I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
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I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...