That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.