You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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