So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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