Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
