Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
