i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
