i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Someone signed my nipple.
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