if you like me you must not know who I am
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
