he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
