Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
